The Rants of Mister P

Superman Returzzzz....

They should give out Academy Awards for movie trailers; the trailers for Superman Returns were goosebump-inducing. This was going to be THE comic book movie. What's even more amazing about the trailers is that they were able piece together these brilliant 2-minute clips from two-and-a-half hours of crap.

OK, maybe that's not exactly fair. Superman Returns isn't really a bad movie, it just isn't any good. It doesn't know what it wants to be: Is it a sequel? A remake? An homage? Brandon Youth... oops, I mean Routh, does a fair job imitating Christopher Reeve's Clark Kent. Fine. But if it's supposed to be that kind of sequel, then shouldn't Kate Bosworth be channeling Margot Kidder? Not even close. And there are a half-dozen little scenes/lines of dialog lifted directly from the first 2 films. That makes sense in a remake, but not in a sequel.

The whole movie just seems long. The big climactic "ending" takes place about 20-30 minutes before the credits roll, and you're just left sitting through all of this forced-emotion stuff begging for it to be over.

It's not all bad: Kevin Spacey is very good, but you see all of his best stuff in the trailers. Cyclops is actually a pretty good character. The scenes are shot and framed like comic book panels, which works just fine.

Maybe I just got my hopes up too high. Superhero films work best when you care about the characters first, and their powers second (see Spider-Man). I just found myself not caring what happened to anybody on screen.

Class of '86

I just got my invitation for my 20th high school reunion. Ugh. I've stayed in touch with many of my high school friends so in many ways this is just another reason to get together. But it makes you feel old. There will be people there whose KIDS are going to my high school, or have possibly even graduated.

They sent out a short questionnaire. It seems innocent enough at first: did you go to college? married? kids? most interesting thing you've done? But what they are really saying is "justify your life over the past two decades". I'm not looking to "win" the where-are-we-now contest, but I would like to make a strong showing. Coming from a small town in New Jersey (pop: 3,000), the fact that I moved to Los Angeles should stand up pretty well. (the suckers don't realize that life in L.A. isn't all about Malibu Beach parties.) But that will only go so far. I have 5 months to strike a movie deal or come up with something else to put down.

Been There. Drank That.

Bleh

I was Mister Crankypants today. Last night I got a bad scratch in the back of my throat. I was up until about 3:00 in the morning half-coughing and just trying to clear my throat. Drove me crazy. To make matters worse, you know how when you can't sleep all of your senses seem to become heightened? Well there was this... noise... coming from the condo above me. I'm not sure what it was. It was both very faint yet very irritating. It was almost like one of those cel phones with a "feature" that rings every 10 seconds to let you know you have a new voice mail. If the phone is sitting on a desk and nobody is home, it will just go on an on forever. The noise wasn't really a ring though, unless it was a downloadable ringtone. It was just a... well, "noise". Insane.

I came into work a little late and there was no parking left in our parking garage. None. The guy who normally watch over the garage were out there valet parking. they were doing their best, but they simply didn't know how to do things smoothly. One guy took me out of the line of waiting cars and told me to follow someone who was walking to his car so I could take his space. I followed him only to find out he was parked in one of those useless compact spaces which I'd never fit into, so then I had to go back and wait in line again.

I hope we have another round of layoffs coming soon to solve this parking mess.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

British Miles asked me if I was going to a Fonz Convention. I had a comb sticking out of my back pocket, and he said it looked like something The Fonz would do. I asked him "you don't carry a comb with you?" "No." Well he's from England, so maybe it's a cultural thing, so I started asking other guys in the office if they carried combs:

"Not since Junior High."
"Yeah, back when I was 8."
"Never."

I got six "no's" in a row. I am floored by this. I have the least amount of hair, yet I'm the only person who carries a comb? This isn't a metro thing, this goes back for generations. Men carry combs. That's what they do. How did I miss the memo 25 years ago telling me to stop carrying a comb?

Good News

I don't have to worry about the power company calling me and leaving messages saying that my electricity will be turned off for non-payment. Why? Because for some reason my phone service has been discontinued.

Update
Ok so here's what happened. I had local phone service through SBC and long distance with AT&T. AT&T bought SBC. When I went to the SBC webpage to pay my bill, I got a notice saying that "AT&T customers should log into their AT&T account." Which I did, paid the bill, and didn't think twice about it. Until this morning, when I lost my cel phone at home and tried to call it to hear the ring, only to get a recorded message saying taht my service had been disconnected.

I called AT&T to find out what the problem was. I got transfered a few times, and was told I had an unpaid balance of $64. I told them I was looking at my bill online, and it said I was paid in full, next payment due June 26. Realizing there were 2 different bills, I asked "what company am I speaking with?"

"This is The New AT&T, formerly SBC."
"Aren't I looking at my AT&T bill online?"
"Oh no, you're looking at the old AT&T."
"So when I log into AT&T, I'm not seeing my New AT&T bill, just the old AT&T bill, but I have to pay both?"
"Yes."
"Where do I go to see the new AT&T bill?"
"You can log into the new AT&T Account Manager".
"But the AT&T Account Manager won't show my old AT&T account, which I still have to pay?"
"Correct."

AT&T will charge me $2.99 a month to combine my bills into one easy payment. I don't think so.

Conglomerates are stupid.