Sunday, August 27, 2006

Sucking Up

I'm not saying I love going into work every day. But if I DID, this would have to be one of the reasons why. Behold my insane Senior Vice President.


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Saturday, August 26, 2006

Snakes on a Blog


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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The Cat

My cat passed away this weekend.

The first thing I always tell people about my cat is "I didn't name her". She belonged to my cousin's wife, and when my cousin passed away she had to move and couldn't take the cat with her, so I told her I would care of her cat. I don't believe in changing names of pets, so I was a 38-year-old man living alone with a cat named... Tiffany.

I tend to be known as a "fussy" eater. And since the universe loves playing cruel karma tricks on people, it gave me the world's most finicky cat. I would literally throw out 2-3 cans of food every day (beyond what she actually would eat) in an attempt to find out which brand and flavor she'd choose to dine upon that day. She would also often snub her nose at chicken, turkey, steak, tunafish, kitty treats... This is what her meal area would typically look like: I would have to put down food one flavor at a time until she found something she wanted.

The second way Tiffany and I were alike is that she loved watching television. Yes, it's true. Whenever Discovery Channel or Animal Planet had a show about the big cats, Tiffany would stare at the screen. I bought her a "Video Catnip" DVD designed specifically for cats which featured birds and squirrels running across the screen. She loved it. To top it all off, there is an old episode of the original Star Trek that had a woman who turned into a cat. When I was watching it, everytime the cat meowed on screen Tiffany would perk up and watch, then turn away when they cut back to the humans. A cat that watches Star Trek? How cool is THAT!

Tiffany was old when she adopted me: probably around age 13. When I first took her to the vet, he told me she had hypothyroidism and kidney failure, and put her on some medications to slow down the inevitable. I was told that cats typically take these meds for one-to-two years, and then it's over. I was more than willing to spoil her for that year or two, which is one of the reasons why I didn't force her to eat whatever I threw down on the floor.

Well that was over 6 years ago. Even the vet was amazed. At her last visit, the vet told me "I can't believe your cat is still walking." But don't think she was this elderly thing sleeping all day. Up until the very end, she was a very affectionate (i.e. pain in the ass) cat. When I was watching TV, she'd jump on the couch with me. If I was on the computer, she'd jump on the keyboard. When I went to bed, she'd jump on my chest and if I was lucky, actually face me.

My home is a little more empty this week, but I know I'll be cleaning cat hair out of the carpet, couches and my clothes for years to come so I will remember her often. I'll miss you Tiffany.


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Friday, August 18, 2006

Snakes on a Plane

After all the hype, Snakes on a Plane is finally here. The best thing that has been said about this film is that "it's going to be so bad, it will be good" but as it turns out, it's actually just plain good. Make no mistake; it's a dumb movie but it knows exactly what it's supposed to be and pretty much delivers. They do things with snakes that you would not believe. You can see it coming, but you still say to yourself (or outloud, the theater was joyfully outspoken) "oh, they're not gonna go there... they wouldn't do that... OH NO THEY DIDN'T!" And the movie is surprisingly INTENTIONALLY funny. I think we all went into the theater expecting to laugh AT the movie, but you can tell you're supposed to just laugh along WITH the film.

As people were leaving, total strangers were coming up to eachother and saying things like "is it just me, or was that actually pretty good?" I can't remember the last time I've seen an entire theater seem to agree upon a movie. We all agreed it was dumb, but that it was a lot of fun and much better than any of us expected.

Many of you are probably thinking "OK, it sounds interesting, I'll rent it when it comes out." No. Get yourself off the couch for once. This movie should be a shared experience. Go to a theater with a bunch of strangers and laugh, cheer, clap and groan together.


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Thursday, August 17, 2006

Gets my blood boiling

We had free cholesterol screenings at work yesterday. I've always had good cholesterol readings. When I had my surgery 3 years ago, I was 176. We had another screening just 2 months ago and I was in the 150s. Yesterday, they told me I was 239.

No. Freakin'. Way.

240 is considered "extreme risk". I told the nurse that either they made a mistake, or that the test was skewed because of the butter sandwich I just ate. She wasn't hearing any of that. instead she kept telling me that I should schedule an appointment with my doctor to get more blood work done. I don't think so.

Now had they done my blood pressure at the time, THEN maybe they'd have something on me. But a cholesterol reading of 239? No.


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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Makes me giggle

30 second Quicktime


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Monday, August 14, 2006

Orange Alert

The terrorists got my luggage.

I was on vacation last week and had to fly home 2 days after those crafty Brits foiled a plot to blow up planes using lipstick & Coca Cola. (All liquids and gels are now banned from flights.) I want to thank MSNBC for all their coverage of "Target: America - Terror in the Sky" because that's exactly what I want to watch right before I head to the airport. (Yes, that's how they branded their coverage.)

The security measures were kind of a joke. There were hastily-printed-out signs all over the airport declaring that if you bought a drink at a newstand you wouldn't be able to bring it on the plane with you. Yet you could still bring carry-on luggage which didn't get searched before boarding. I understand them screening out liquids before going through security. But then either let us bring purchased beverages on the plane with us, or else inspect our bags.

Unfortunately, somehow my luggage did not make it back to Burbank with me. It wasn't too much of a hassle, but I didn't have my glasses so I had to put my contacts in as soon as I woke up the next day which is kind of a pain. The bags arrived Sunday night.

We were told that originally we had a completely booked flight, but many people were cancelling their travel plans. There were quite a few empty seats on the plane, including the one next to me. Maybe terrorism isn't so bad after all.


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