The Rants of Mister P

Unfairenheit 9/11

Well, I did it. I finally saw Farenheit 9/11. I fully admit I didn’t have a completely open mind going into it, but I still think I can bring up some valid points.

Let me start by insulting most of my loyal readers: I believe most fans of this movie suffer from “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” syndrome. They hate Bush, this movie hates Bush, therefore the movie must be good. I was annoyed by the hype surrounding this movie (fully fueled by Moore), telling me it was “duty as an American” to go see it. Ya know, it is possible to both dislike Bush AND dislike the film.

Taking the politics out of it for a moment, as a stand-alone film F911 is OK. Not great, not terrible. I do respect the fact that we never actually see the World Trade Center in the film. But it lacks a lot of the really clever humor that Moore has used in the past both in movies and on TV.

It’s Moore’s political arguments that get him in trouble. Most of the movie is “bait and switch”: he sets you up to show how bad Bush is, but then uses “evidence” that proves a different point. Moore is counting on you not stopping to think for yourself.

Here’s an example: The Patriot Act certainly has some controversy, and you'd think if anyone could dig up abuses of it, it would be Michael Moore. So what does he come up with? First, he finds a deputy Sheriff in Fresno who infiltrated a peace group in Fresno. Did the Sheriff do background checks on the other members? No. Did he secretly videotape their meetings? No. All he did was use a fake name. That may be unethical, but it has absolutely nothing to do with the Patriot Act. The second example Moore uses is an old guy who was asked a few questions by the FBI because he was speaking out publicly against Bush. Did the FBI tap his phone? Install cameras in his living room? Did they bring him in for questioning? No. They paid him a visit because HIS OWN FRIENDS reported him as being suspicious. That may speak to the paranoia in the country, but again it has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PATRIOT ACT. Of
course, Michael Moore doesn't really care if it's relevant or not.

Moore mentions the "Coalition of the Willing", the countries that
backed Bush in the decision to invade Iraq. Moore lists a few of the
supporting countries such as Nicaraqua and Afghanistan, and makes fun
of Morocco for donating 3000 monkeys to detonate land mines. He
presents the coalition as being nothing but third world nations. He
doesn't want the audience to think for themselves, because if they did
they'd know that there were over 30 nations in the coalition including
the United Kingdom, Spain, Italy, Australia, and Japan. Oh, and I
forgot Poland.

I could go on and on.

Regardless of political affiliation, I believe the vast majority of
people will tell you they disapprove of negative campaign ads. Most of
those people are lying, because not only did they spend over $100
million dollars to see this 2-hour mudslinging commercial, they claim
they LIKED it.

Blogger somehow managed to erase my template and I lost all the structure of the page. Will have to rebuild it this weekend. Stupid Blogger.

Fear not; all of Mister P.'s tales of adventure remain intact.

It isn't just me

Some people don't understand how I could not pay a power bill or my mortgage or whatever. You have to understand the world I live in. I live in a world where I get letters like this:



I'm going to ignore it. Just like I do all my other bills.

Vote or Die. Or Not.

There is a "get out and vote" campaign going on called "Vote Or Die". Celebrities are making appearances wearing these ominous T-Shirts. My first reaction is, "Spare me the drama". I mean, come on. I'm not going to keel over if I don't make it to the polls on Tuesday. (unless Nader wins somehow.) I just think the campaign is in poor taste. Real people are really dying right now because of politics. My decision whether or not to get off the couch to vote is NOTHING like a soldier's decision to climb out of a foxhole.

MTV's "Rock the Vote" campaign is far more appropriate.

One for the Gipper

I went to the Reagan Library & Museum this weekend. I admit I drank the Republican KoolAid and really enjoyed it. Sure it's all propaganda, but I was thinking "I'd vote for him" if he were running today. Remember the 80s, when Americans felt good about themselves? Weren't those fun times? And poor Reagan developed all those neat toys (stealth bombers, laser guns) but never got to play with them. Imagine if he was in office on 9/11: Afghanistan would still be in flames to this day. (OK, I know we technically weren't at war with Afghanistan. Details.) If we knew Bin Laden was hiding in the mountains, What Would Reagan Do? "Blow up the mountain". Simple.

So he gave a few bombs to terrorist nations... like who hasn't?

Call of the Wild

It's getting darker earlier, and it's becoming more difficult to go running after work. Tonight during my run, a freaking coyote ran out in front of me. A COYOTE! Few things will motivate you to run faster more than the idea of being chased by a pack of wild dogs.

Destiny

I think I should marry this woman:

Woman With Smelly Litter Box Sets Fire
Prosecutors Charge Woman With Setting Apartment Fire Because Her Kitty Litter Box Smelled

PORT ANGELES, Wash. Oct. 14, 2004 — Court documents filed in Clallam County Superior Court tie an alleged arson in an apartment complex to a smelly cat litter box.

Prosecutors on Wednesday charged Marie Adeline Calkins, 63, with first-degree arson, accusing her of setting a fire Tuesday in her apartment on South C Street. No one was injured.

She told officers she lit the fire because "she was depressed and upset that her kitty litter box was full and smelled," court papers said.

Judge George L. Wood set bail at $50,000 and ordered a mental health assessment.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=167240


My Flaming Litterbox story

Ow

Have you ever laughed at a jogger? Maybe you've seen a middle-aged man running along the road... slightly balding, but certainly not unattractive. He moves kind of funny- he's too stiff, and it looks like he's exerting far too much energy to be moving that slowly. You can't help but think he looks ridiculous. I realize I have become that man.

I've stuck with the running (thanks to this moron) and as the runs have become longer I've discovered new ways the body can ache. Surprisingly, it's not the legs (they go numb so they can't feel pain.) It's more the lower back, which during the last few miles gets tight and makes me look like an old man.

No pain, insane.

Is this good?

I got a statement in the mail saying that my car insurance was resinstated. I was not aware that my insurance had lapsed due to non-payment, but somehow I guess everything worked out.

No fish were harmed making this entry

Well here's something you don't see every day (unless you're Mister P. of course.) I have a 10-gallon aquarium in my bedroom with 5 widdle fishies in it. There is a pump blowing bubbles in it, but the bubbles are a bit noisy at night so I unplug it. This morning, I woke up and plugged the pump back in and in doing so apparently knocked the hose off the pump. In a remarkable demonstration of elementary school physics, the hose designed to blow air into the tank became a syphon sucking water out. When I came back from my shower, more than half of the aquarium had been drained into the carpeting.

It didn't matter how many towels I threw down to try to soak up all the water. It seeped deep into the fibers and the matting underneath and it's just gonna be damp forever.

If I could just move the leaking aquarium next to the flaming litterbox I'd be in good shape.

Worst Camera Angle Evar

Doesn't it look like Edwards is 8 feet tall and wants to eat Gwen?

Times have changed

I saw a classic episode of Seinfeld... "The Contest". It was horrifically offensive. No, I'm not talking about the game to see who could stay "Master of their Domain" the longest. The opening scene has Jerry asking "Suppose some terrorists take you hostage. They have you locked up on the floor in a cell. Do you think, after a while, they'll do your laundry?" Then to make matters worse, later in the episode Elaine has the hots for John F. Kennedy Jr.

1990's: John John and Terrorists are ripe for humor.

Hot Times

Does anyone wanna go to Portland? That little hill up there is gonna go ka-blewie any moment now. How often do you get this much advanced notice that a mountain is going to blow up? Last minute fares are like $400. You with me?!

Raving



I'm sure Jim Nash is an excellent journalist, but somehow he just didn't seem to be the right man to cover the story about a shooting at a rave.

Mister P.'s Clip Of The Week. <500k, QuickTime (not a very exciting clip, I just thought it was odd)

I miss the old days of raves when you had to bring an egg to a liquor store as a code to find out the location.