Tuesday, September 30, 2003
Slow News Week
I need somebody smart to explain this to me. Somehow the name of a covert CIA agent got leaked by the White House. I understand that's bad, but is it really a huge scandal? It has the feeling of blowing up way out of proportion. And shouldn't we be mad at CNN or Robert Novak or Newsday for publishing the name? I just don't get it.
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I need somebody smart to explain this to me. Somehow the name of a covert CIA agent got leaked by the White House. I understand that's bad, but is it really a huge scandal? It has the feeling of blowing up way out of proportion. And shouldn't we be mad at CNN or Robert Novak or Newsday for publishing the name? I just don't get it.
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Thursday, September 25, 2003
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Wednesday, September 24, 2003
The Republican Party keeps sending me mail addressed to my late father asking for money. I enjoy sending the mail back to them in the postage-paid envelope with snarky comments thanking them for reminding me about my father's death. Here's their latest beg I'm sending back to them:
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Tuesday, September 16, 2003
The $1500 Oil Change
My car is dead. Again.
I was driving along the freeway, minding my own business, when all of a sudden I hear a high-pitched screech and my car turned itself off... I managed to coast down an off ramp and parked the car. Called AAA, then called my usual garage to make sure they would be able to take the car:
"Hi, my car broke down, can I tow it to you to take a look at it?"
"What kind of car?"
"It's a Firebird"
"Is that the light blue one?"
The mechanic recognized my voice over the phone. How scary is it that my mechanic knows me and my car instantly from an out-of-the-blue phone call?
He thinks he found the problem: there is no oil in the car. I don't know much about automobiles, but I do know that that can be a problem. The odd thing is that I brought it in for an oil change exactly one week ago. The mechanic found no leaks, missing hoses, or plugs. As far as he can tell, the fine people at EZ Lube at 2420 West Olive in Burbank drained out my old oil, but somehow forgot to put new oil in. Oopsie.
So now my car is seriously dead. We're talking I might need an entire new engine to get it running again. I think EZ Lube should pay me for essentially totalling my car, but I don't know how to convince them. Maybe I need to get some of my Joisey friends out here to make them an offer.
UPDATE: I got another call from the mechanic. He told me that my rear wheel cylinders are leaking. When they lose pressure, they can't apply the brakes and they'll need to be replaced. I don't know much about automobiles, but I didn't understand how that was connected to the oil problem. I couldn't figure out if this was part of the same problem or a whole new thing I needed fixed. I had to have him explain it to me several times, and I still didn't get it. I finally asked "are you saying the rear wheels drain oil from the engine?". Short pause. "Oh. You're the guy with the Firebird? Sorry, wrong car."
Yes, I'm filled with confidence.
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My car is dead. Again.
I was driving along the freeway, minding my own business, when all of a sudden I hear a high-pitched screech and my car turned itself off... I managed to coast down an off ramp and parked the car. Called AAA, then called my usual garage to make sure they would be able to take the car:
"Hi, my car broke down, can I tow it to you to take a look at it?"
"What kind of car?"
"It's a Firebird"
"Is that the light blue one?"
The mechanic recognized my voice over the phone. How scary is it that my mechanic knows me and my car instantly from an out-of-the-blue phone call?
He thinks he found the problem: there is no oil in the car. I don't know much about automobiles, but I do know that that can be a problem. The odd thing is that I brought it in for an oil change exactly one week ago. The mechanic found no leaks, missing hoses, or plugs. As far as he can tell, the fine people at EZ Lube at 2420 West Olive in Burbank drained out my old oil, but somehow forgot to put new oil in. Oopsie.
So now my car is seriously dead. We're talking I might need an entire new engine to get it running again. I think EZ Lube should pay me for essentially totalling my car, but I don't know how to convince them. Maybe I need to get some of my Joisey friends out here to make them an offer.
UPDATE: I got another call from the mechanic. He told me that my rear wheel cylinders are leaking. When they lose pressure, they can't apply the brakes and they'll need to be replaced. I don't know much about automobiles, but I didn't understand how that was connected to the oil problem. I couldn't figure out if this was part of the same problem or a whole new thing I needed fixed. I had to have him explain it to me several times, and I still didn't get it. I finally asked "are you saying the rear wheels drain oil from the engine?". Short pause. "Oh. You're the guy with the Firebird? Sorry, wrong car."
Yes, I'm filled with confidence.
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Thursday, September 11, 2003
From my last visit:
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Tuesday, September 09, 2003
More offensive 9/11 ranting
A new ruling says that families can sue the airlines and Port Authority for the deaths of 9/11. I say fine, you want to play that game? Here we go: All evidence suggests that had passengers on Flight 93 not interfered, the plane would not have crashed in Pennsylvania. It is against the law to try to take control of an airplane, yet that is exactly what the passengers tried to do. So I think someone should sue the estate of the "Let's Roll" guy, because the deaths of all those people on board are directly related to his actions.
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A new ruling says that families can sue the airlines and Port Authority for the deaths of 9/11. I say fine, you want to play that game? Here we go: All evidence suggests that had passengers on Flight 93 not interfered, the plane would not have crashed in Pennsylvania. It is against the law to try to take control of an airplane, yet that is exactly what the passengers tried to do. So I think someone should sue the estate of the "Let's Roll" guy, because the deaths of all those people on board are directly related to his actions.
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Sunday, September 07, 2003
I didn't like the design for the new World Trade Center when it was first selected, and now I've learned it's just plain stupid. The plan calls for "the world's tallest building", a tower 1,776 feet tall. OK, that sounds like a pretty good idea. But the CN Tower in Canada is 1,815 feet tall. I understand the hokey symbolism of 1776, but wouldn't it be better to just add an extra 50 feet?
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I realize this doesn't sound very patriotic but...
Families of the victims of 9/11 are starting to make a stink about Ground Zero being sacred ground and that developers shouldn't be putting stores or train stations in the area. I'm sorry for their loss, but I think we need to reel them in a bit. When a mother loses her son in a car accident, is her loss any less that the 9/11 families? I don't think so, and she doesn't get to declare that street corner as sacred ground.
I believe that eventually there will be a very beautiful and appropriate memorial at the new World Trade Center and I'm sure the families will get to provide plenty of input. We all lose loved ones, it sucks for everyone, but they are already getting FAR more a tribute than any of us could hope for. Let the victims rest in quiet dignity, and let progress move forward.
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Families of the victims of 9/11 are starting to make a stink about Ground Zero being sacred ground and that developers shouldn't be putting stores or train stations in the area. I'm sorry for their loss, but I think we need to reel them in a bit. When a mother loses her son in a car accident, is her loss any less that the 9/11 families? I don't think so, and she doesn't get to declare that street corner as sacred ground.
I believe that eventually there will be a very beautiful and appropriate memorial at the new World Trade Center and I'm sure the families will get to provide plenty of input. We all lose loved ones, it sucks for everyone, but they are already getting FAR more a tribute than any of us could hope for. Let the victims rest in quiet dignity, and let progress move forward.
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Wednesday, September 03, 2003
One for the medical books
Hypochondriacs should not be allowed on the internet.
Several people have recently told me that I am getting some dark splotches on my face, something other than sunburn. After accurately diagnosing my hernia, I knew I could figure out what was wrong with me so I started researching skin disorders.
Melanoma is a precursor to cancer, and shows up as mole-like blemishes on the skin. Thankfully, I don't have those. Rosacea is a blemish on the face, but it is reddish in color and looks similar to acne. That's not it. Then there's Melasma. It is characterized by a darkening of portions of the skin from a tan to dark brown color. It shows up particularly on the cheeks. It often appears in a symmetrical pattern on both sides of the face. That's it! That's what I must have.
What causes Melasma? It's primarly caused by hormonal changes during pregnancy. So not only do I have a skin disorder, but I'm pregnant as well.
I read it on the internet. It must be true.
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Hypochondriacs should not be allowed on the internet.
Several people have recently told me that I am getting some dark splotches on my face, something other than sunburn. After accurately diagnosing my hernia, I knew I could figure out what was wrong with me so I started researching skin disorders.
Melanoma is a precursor to cancer, and shows up as mole-like blemishes on the skin. Thankfully, I don't have those. Rosacea is a blemish on the face, but it is reddish in color and looks similar to acne. That's not it. Then there's Melasma. It is characterized by a darkening of portions of the skin from a tan to dark brown color. It shows up particularly on the cheeks. It often appears in a symmetrical pattern on both sides of the face. That's it! That's what I must have.
What causes Melasma? It's primarly caused by hormonal changes during pregnancy. So not only do I have a skin disorder, but I'm pregnant as well.
I read it on the internet. It must be true.
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Tuesday, September 02, 2003
I Love The 70s/80s; I Hate Mo Rocca
VH1 has two special series "I Love the 80s" and "I Love the 70s" where they spend 1 hour reviewing a single year from a pop-culture perspective. The have B-List celebrities talking about their memories of V shows, movies, songs, clothes, toys... you name it. The best commentators are Hal Sparks (Talk Soup) and Michael Ian Black (Ed). Athough they make fun of a lot of the music and fashion, it's very inclusive- they're laughing at themselves, saying "what were WE thinking?!", not "what were YOU thinking?"
There is one weak spot in the shot, and that's Mo Rocca (The Daily Show). For starters, he isn't even a B-list celebrity: He's a SIDEKICK to a B-List celebrity. He is just so smug and cocky, as if he's trying to be some sort of intellectual historian who managed to rise above all the fashion faux-guffaws of history. His "humor" (if that's what it is) just doesn't fit in with the fun-loving spirit of everyone else. I hate him. Jive turkey.
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VH1 has two special series "I Love the 80s" and "I Love the 70s" where they spend 1 hour reviewing a single year from a pop-culture perspective. The have B-List celebrities talking about their memories of V shows, movies, songs, clothes, toys... you name it. The best commentators are Hal Sparks (Talk Soup) and Michael Ian Black (Ed). Athough they make fun of a lot of the music and fashion, it's very inclusive- they're laughing at themselves, saying "what were WE thinking?!", not "what were YOU thinking?"
There is one weak spot in the shot, and that's Mo Rocca (The Daily Show). For starters, he isn't even a B-list celebrity: He's a SIDEKICK to a B-List celebrity. He is just so smug and cocky, as if he's trying to be some sort of intellectual historian who managed to rise above all the fashion faux-guffaws of history. His "humor" (if that's what it is) just doesn't fit in with the fun-loving spirit of everyone else. I hate him. Jive turkey.
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