Friday, March 23, 2007


Ow, but not THAT Ow

I've had a plantars wart on my foot for several years. Last year, I had it removed. It grew back. A few months ago, I had it removed again. It grew back. I am now on my 3rd treatment. To recall, first the doctor gouges out the flesh with a scalpel, then he soaks it in flesh-eating acid for a week, then he freezes it with a liquid nitrogen gun - PFFFFFTTT! - to kill the virus and any nearby skin cells. The nitrogen hurts quite a bit; he zaps it right on all of the newly exposed flesh under the skin.

I went in for the deep freeze first thing in the morning, and we're chatting as he's zapping me - PPPFFFFTTTT!:

"Wow, that will really wakes me up!"

"You know what REALLY wakes you up?...PPPFFFFTTTT!...I'm the only male doctor in the area...PPPFFFFTTTT!...so all of the men have to come to me to take care of their genital warts...PPPFFFFTTTT!"

"Wait a minute... You're telling me you use LIQUID NITROGEN on genital warts?"

"Yup...PPPFFFFTTTT!"


After that, my foot didn't seem to hurt so much any more.

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