The Rants of Mister P

Which came first?



I have an odd dilemma. A few days ago, a small egg appeared on my balcony. I don't know what to do with it. Surely this egg has been abandoned, and without the warmth of a Mama Bird to protect it, whatever is inside is dead, right? But I don't want to just throw it out, because what if there is a tiny baby bird inside? Do I want it to come into the world at the bottom of a dumpster? And what if I leave it there: would it hatch and then I'd have to watch some poor struggling chick whither away and die? I live on the 16th floor, and simply tossing it off the balcony is not an option (I don't know what's inside, so the thought of splattering it 150 feet below is out of the question.)

And no, I'm not making an omlette.

Los Angeles Marathon

Last week I did the L.A. Marathon. Lots of reports on Neoprene Wedgie.

I Got Served

I just got served by Cruftbox.

Mr. Cruft is my VP at work. I submitted a proposal to him via email. This is the exchange:


-----Original Message-----
From: Mister P
To: Cruftbox
Subject:Equipment Upgrade for 1830

We have old gear in 1830 which is complicated to use and has been causing problems for users. I'm requesting that we upgrade one of the systems with this new equipment:

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=6378617&type=product&id=1099393710356

Other models may be substituted.


-----Original Message-----
From: Cruftbox
To: Mister P.
Subject: RE: Equipment Upgrade for 1830

Perhaps an alternate technology would allow a wider range of work to be performed.

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=6817466&type=product&productCategoryId=pcmcat13300050034&id=1097579305612

The previous design is a bit function limited.

-Michael


-----Original Message-----
From: Mister P
To: Cruftbox
Subject: RE: Equipment Upgrade for 1830

NO NO NO NO!!!! Typical Microsoft user.

You want one device that will do everything. No. You wind up with something that does everything poorly. That's the problem with the equipment we have now. We need a new device that does only one task, and can do it well.


-----Original Message-----
From: Cruftbox
To: Mister P.
Subject: RE: Equipment Upgrade for 1830

I demand a toast-off then. I submit that a toaster oven does a better job than a traditional toaster at the task of toasting bread.

Plus noone sticks a knife into my suggestion, avoiding the risk of electrocution!


-----Original Message-----
From: Mister P
To: Cruftbox
Subject: RE: Equipment Upgrade for 1830

It's on. Bring it sucka'


-----Original Message-----
From: Cruftbox
To: Mister P.
Subject: RE: Equipment Upgrade for 1830

Choose the panel of judges!


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I work in a strange place.

Fish Tale

I'm not sure how, but I've managed to keep 3 little Tetra fish alive for almost 2 years now. They lost 2 of their buddies, but these guys are troopers. I feel bad saying this, but I sort of hate my fish. Here's the problem: You buy fish so you can watch them swim back and forth and go along with their little fishy lives. But my fish are paranoid cowards. When I first come into the room, I see them dancing happily all around the tank. But as soon as I start to get closer they swim and hide underneath the sunken bridge. Many times I don't even know if all 3 are alive because I can't even find them. Since I am essentially their 'god', I could easily take out the bridge and all the plants and force them to be on display. But ultmimately I want them to be happy so if they like having little hiding places, they can keep them.

I went away for the weekend and set them up with an automatic feeder. It's a round disk that rotates every 12 hours and dumps food into the tank. Unfortunately, I mounted it right above the air bubbler, which splashed water up inside and clogged it. So they didn't get any food this weekend.

No wonder my fish hate me.