Tuesday, May 10, 2005


Neoprene Wedgie

I went shopping for wetsuits again - ALONE.

Each suit is probably a 10-15 minute ordeal to select a size, squeeze into it, and then find out all the reasons why it doesn't fit. There were two salespeople in the store, and then another customer came in. He was a large Australian guy who obviously knew the salesguys- he was telling them about the Megathon he did the day before, swimming across the Pacific and killing a dozen wallabies with his teeth.

I came out of the changing room wearing suit #2, and the salesguys start picking and prodding at me trying to see how it fits. As it turns out, I didn't have it pulled up far enough. The Australian comes over and says "ya need to be wearin' it up, mate". He then goes behind me and grabs onto the suit, not-quite-inappropriately but still beyond my comfort level, and just lifts me off the ground like a ragdoll. He does a little shaking thing and then I drop about 2 inches inside the suit. It helped, but I still didn't fit in the suit properly.

I'm sorry, but I'm not sure how comfortable I am with strangers coming up behind me and tossing me around while I'm wearing rubber suits.


(thanks to Brad for coining the phrase "neoprene wedgie")

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