Thursday, December 30, 2004
Man of Steel vs. Shirt of Cotton
A lot of people think it would be cool to be Superman because he can use his x-ray vision to look through Lois Lane's clothes. But I don't think it's that easy. Lois' skin is pressed right up against her clothes. In order to see her birthday suit, Superman has to focus his x-ray vision far enough so that it penetrates the fabric but not so far that he's looking into the tissue and blood vessels under the skin. Which would be gross. And because Lois has curves, every part of her body has a different point of focus. It just seems like it would be really hard to do.
Now if Lois was taking a shower and Superman was in the next room, then it would work.
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A lot of people think it would be cool to be Superman because he can use his x-ray vision to look through Lois Lane's clothes. But I don't think it's that easy. Lois' skin is pressed right up against her clothes. In order to see her birthday suit, Superman has to focus his x-ray vision far enough so that it penetrates the fabric but not so far that he's looking into the tissue and blood vessels under the skin. Which would be gross. And because Lois has curves, every part of her body has a different point of focus. It just seems like it would be really hard to do.
Now if Lois was taking a shower and Superman was in the next room, then it would work.
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It wasn't me
1:15 in the morning. This is what I've been listening to for the past 20 minutes:
Evil sound
The building fire alarm is going off.
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1:15 in the morning. This is what I've been listening to for the past 20 minutes:
Evil sound
The building fire alarm is going off.
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Sunday, December 26, 2004
Aftermath
The sad thing is that the mess wasn't caused by a party. It's just the mess created by me getting all my packages put together. (The last set goes out tomorrow.)
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The sad thing is that the mess wasn't caused by a party. It's just the mess created by me getting all my packages put together. (The last set goes out tomorrow.)
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Saturday, December 25, 2004
Merry Christmas from the cat
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Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Christmas Mystery
What was going on with Bruce Springsteen? His live version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" gets a lot of air play during the holidays. Towards the end of the song, he has trouble repeating the lyrics over and over. It's almost like he's laughing or out of breath. Was something happening on stage? It bugs me every year.
(I also hate the laughter in "Sgt Pepper". It's like listening to the radio of a mime performance.)
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What was going on with Bruce Springsteen? His live version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" gets a lot of air play during the holidays. Towards the end of the song, he has trouble repeating the lyrics over and over. It's almost like he's laughing or out of breath. Was something happening on stage? It bugs me every year.
(I also hate the laughter in "Sgt Pepper". It's like listening to the radio of a mime performance.)
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Monday, December 20, 2004
I am a strong and confident woman
I'm a sucker for free stuff. Even when it isn't free. One of my weaknesses is the "free trial subscription" for magazines. You find offers in the mail, at checkout counters, everywhere. The secret is to remember to cancel before your subscription automatically renews. Sometimes several magazines get bundled together; Best Buy recently gave me subscriptions to Entertainment Weekly (yay) and Sports Illustrated (boo). It puts me on a diverse set of mailing lists. I used to get Newsweek and National Geographic and Conde Nast Traveller. And would you believe I'm a former subscriber of Bon Appetit?
When I registered online for one of our runs, there was an option to choose a free trail magazine. They all were pretty much related to health, and I just sort of picked one and figured at some point I'd get an article explaining why my shoes were too tight. Not knowing one magazine from another, I selected the very-generic-sounding "Fitness". And it arrived, with the cover story "Lose Your Cellulite!" I thought I wanted to add inches to my thighs, but according to this magazine I'm supposed to lose some.
All future health-related issues will be answered by a source I know and respect: TV Guide.
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I'm a sucker for free stuff. Even when it isn't free. One of my weaknesses is the "free trial subscription" for magazines. You find offers in the mail, at checkout counters, everywhere. The secret is to remember to cancel before your subscription automatically renews. Sometimes several magazines get bundled together; Best Buy recently gave me subscriptions to Entertainment Weekly (yay) and Sports Illustrated (boo). It puts me on a diverse set of mailing lists. I used to get Newsweek and National Geographic and Conde Nast Traveller. And would you believe I'm a former subscriber of Bon Appetit?
When I registered online for one of our runs, there was an option to choose a free trail magazine. They all were pretty much related to health, and I just sort of picked one and figured at some point I'd get an article explaining why my shoes were too tight. Not knowing one magazine from another, I selected the very-generic-sounding "Fitness". And it arrived, with the cover story "Lose Your Cellulite!" I thought I wanted to add inches to my thighs, but according to this magazine I'm supposed to lose some.
All future health-related issues will be answered by a source I know and respect: TV Guide.
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Sunday, December 19, 2004
Blasphemy
I was watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on Friday. During the closing credits, Burl Ives (the snowman) is supposed to sing the theme song, right? Not any more. They replaced it with Destiny's Child singing a freakish urban-pop-nightmare version of the song, splicing claymation figures of the group in with original Rudolph footage. Horrific. Most frightening thing evar.
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I was watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on Friday. During the closing credits, Burl Ives (the snowman) is supposed to sing the theme song, right? Not any more. They replaced it with Destiny's Child singing a freakish urban-pop-nightmare version of the song, splicing claymation figures of the group in with original Rudolph footage. Horrific. Most frightening thing evar.
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Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Sick
Why did I bother staying home?
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Why did I bother staying home?
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Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Invested Development
Are you watching Arrested Development yet? You should be. This week's episode with the "wake" of Pop-Pop was the funniest thing I've seen on TV in quite some time.
This show has social commentary (Buster throwing a Dustbuster at a bus- hilarious!), slapstick (Job making the cover of Poof magazine- hilarious!), and timely pop-culture references (Charlie Brown- hilarious!)
Give the show 2 weeks; you might not understand the structure of the show right away. But it is totally worth it.
Sundays on FOX.
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Are you watching Arrested Development yet? You should be. This week's episode with the "wake" of Pop-Pop was the funniest thing I've seen on TV in quite some time.
This show has social commentary (Buster throwing a Dustbuster at a bus- hilarious!), slapstick (Job making the cover of Poof magazine- hilarious!), and timely pop-culture references (Charlie Brown- hilarious!)
Give the show 2 weeks; you might not understand the structure of the show right away. But it is totally worth it.
Sundays on FOX.
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Monday, December 06, 2004
Ho Ho Hangover
This weekend was the company Christmas - er, Holiday Party, held at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood. (Meeting first in the theater, then dinner upstairs.) The Kodak Theater is the home of the Oscars, and I have to say it was a lot smaller and cheap-looking than I expected. Everything looks much nicer on TV.
As for the party, the bar opened at 5 but the buffet dinner didn't start until 6 so I had a lot of unabsorbed alcohol. My drink of the night was lemon-drop martinis; a bit of a sissy drink perhaps but they were yummy so too bad. I had a bit too much, and I reached the stage where I was trying to figure out who my "Puke Buddy" should be - you know, the guy who goes in the stall with you to make sure you don't bang your head on the bowl. I did make a small deposit, and was worried that my Puke Buddy would wind up being the restroom attendant. How much do you tip for something like that? Fortunately, it didn't get to that point.
The party ended at 8 and I wandered the streets of Hollywood for a few hours. Ironically, I went into a bar to sober up (ate pretzels and drank soda). I caught the subway back to my car around 11:30 and got home at midnight.
Favorite new euphemism: "talk to Ralph on the big white telephone"
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This weekend was the company Christmas - er, Holiday Party, held at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood. (Meeting first in the theater, then dinner upstairs.) The Kodak Theater is the home of the Oscars, and I have to say it was a lot smaller and cheap-looking than I expected. Everything looks much nicer on TV.
As for the party, the bar opened at 5 but the buffet dinner didn't start until 6 so I had a lot of unabsorbed alcohol. My drink of the night was lemon-drop martinis; a bit of a sissy drink perhaps but they were yummy so too bad. I had a bit too much, and I reached the stage where I was trying to figure out who my "Puke Buddy" should be - you know, the guy who goes in the stall with you to make sure you don't bang your head on the bowl. I did make a small deposit, and was worried that my Puke Buddy would wind up being the restroom attendant. How much do you tip for something like that? Fortunately, it didn't get to that point.
The party ended at 8 and I wandered the streets of Hollywood for a few hours. Ironically, I went into a bar to sober up (ate pretzels and drank soda). I caught the subway back to my car around 11:30 and got home at midnight.
Favorite new euphemism: "talk to Ralph on the big white telephone"
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