Saturday, November 06, 2004


This weekend I was supposed to run a half-marathon with Brad. While some people can hop out of bed and decide on a whim to run 13 miles, this was something I had to work up to. I have been in training for about 3 months, adding a mile every other week until I was up to 12 miles. I should have have stopped at 11.

The human body isn't too bright. If the brain tells it to start running, the legs will just start moving to the best of their ability. They don't know why they're running; as far as they know, they might be running away from a bear. But if the brain tells the legs to run often enough, eventually the body will start to catch on: "hey, wait a minute... there can't be THAT many bears in Los Angeles." The body is much happier just sitting on the couch, and it comes up with a way to prevent itself from having to run: it tears the tendon off of the heel.

That's basically what happened to me... a mild case of Achilles Tendonitis. It is somewhat common amongst beginner runners. The tendon gets bruised because it's not strong enough and it can take weeks to heal. I am not in constant pain, but rather have been in constant discomfort for the past 2 weeks. It is painful to drive however, because pressing the pedals moves the foot in exactly the wrong way. Stay off the roads; I no longer use the brake unless it's absolutely necessary.

A half-marathon would have been a nice accomplishment for the scrawny kid who always got picked last in gym, but it is not to be. Instead, I'm back to doing what I do best: munching down Oreos in front of the TV. What lesson have we learned, kiddies? Don't bother trying to improve yourself. By the time you're 11 or 12, your lot in life has pretty much already been decided. Just stay where you are, and just do what you do. The universe is much more stable when everyone sticks to their assigned roles.

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