Saturday, June 26, 2004

Time for schoolin'

What the hell is wrong with people? This isn't rocket science folks, so let's go over it one last time...

If the movie starts at 9:45, what time should you be in the theater? Anyone? Anyone? The answer is 9:45. Any time before 9:45 is fantastic. And you know what? I'm a generous guy: if you want to run out during the trailers to grab some popcorn, knock yourself out. But there is absolutely no reason for you to be looking for a seat for your fat lazy ass at 10:05. None.

Also, there is NO EXCUSE for bringing your 3-year-old snot-nosed bratty kid with you to a 9:45 PG movie. None. And he should not be making goobly noises all night long. He should not be allowed to play with the flip-up seats. He should not be allowed to wander up and down the aisle. If you can't afford a baby sitter, there's no shame in that; but then you should be saving your money by a) going to see a half-price matinee show or b) leaving the kid in the car so you don't have to pay for his ticket as well. If you DO bring your kid, I hope the movie gives him nightmares all week long and he wakes you up every night screaming.

Class dismissed.

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