Monday, August 25, 2003

The Amazing Spolier


Last week was the finale of The Amazing Race 4. There are a lot of fun reality shows out there, but when it comes to finales nobody comes close to the excitement of The Amazing Race. Every season there is a Hero Team and a Villian Team who wind up running neck-and-neck to the finish line. They finish within minutes or even seconds of eachother. It's a slick, well-polished show which is a whole-lotta fun.

This year's villians were John & Kelly who just yelled and screamed at eachother, and rather cruelly made fun of the other teams. They were particularly mean to the unlikely heroes Reichen & Chip, a married gay couple. John and Kelly had no problem making fun of their masculinity to their faces in public. Boo! Hiss!

I TiVoed the finale so I was not watching it live. At 8:57, my friend "Trevor" called (not his real name to protect his identity.) He asks "are you crying?" I didn't know what he meant, but I knew it had something to do with the show. I assumed he was saying that the villians won, which probaly would make me cry. I started screaming into the phone "DON'T-TELL-ME-ANYTHING-I-HAVEN'T-SEEN-IT-YET!" He tries to rationalize himself to me, saying "I can't spoil anything because I don't know anything. 'Kam' was watching. I don't know who these people are, all I saw was ---"

I went ballistic, and my mouth could not keep up with my brain. I don't know what language I was speaking, but it wasn't english. "DON'TSAYANYTHING! NOTAWORD! STOP! YOU'LLSLIPUPANDSAYHEORSHEBYMISTAKEANDGIVEITAWAY!" Since there was only one girl left in the race, an innocent use of the word "she" could spoil everything. Yet Trevor persisted: "I'm not going to spoil anything, I'm just saying it looked anti-climactic to me."

That did it, the show was ruined.

By hearing that the ending was anti-climactic, I knew it was not going to be a close race. So once Reichen and Chip left the airport first on the final leg of the race, I knew they would win. And they did. In other seasons, the teams would jockey for position and take the lead from eachother, which made the finales very climactic. But that didn't happen here.

Trevor says that he didn't spoil anything. His argument is that he only meant that the interviews and the crying at the end was anti-climactic, not the race itself. My argument is that he's an idiot. It's a race: all the drama and excitement comes BEFORE someone crosses the finish line. You don't determine whether or not a race is anti-climatic by what happens after it's over. Trevor says it's merely a coincidence that he used the word "anti-climatic" to describe the ending and that the race itself wasn't close. That's like saying it's merely a coincidence that I was standing in front of the gun when you fired it. The end result is the same: I knew who would win 20 minutes before it was over.

It's a sled, he's a she, he's his father, he's dead.

Comments: Post a Comment

<< Home

Permanent link

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Weblog Commenting and Trackback by