Thursday, July 31, 2003


3:30 in the morning

I've been trying to wean myself off the Vicodin because a) strong painkillers can be addictive and b) I only have 4 pills left. I'm down to taking just 2 pills a day: one in the morning and one at night. I actually feel pretty good for a couple of hours after popping the pill. I'm able to walk around pretty well and can sit and stand with just some mild discomfort. But then later in the day it's just a slow and steady decline. In addition to the pain coming back when I move, I'm starting to get really bad headaches, a little dizziness and even some nausea. The last few hours before the next pill I pretty much have to just lie still on the couch. Even if I turn my head too quickly it makes me dizzy.

It's a constant cycle. At noon I'm thinking "I feel great, I'll be back on my feet in just a couple of days", then just a couple hours later I get reminded that I'm only feeling good artificially. My post-operation doctor's appointment isn't until Monday. I'll pop my last Vicodin Friday, which means I have to make it through the weekend on Ibuprofen or Excedrin or Jack Daniels.

I am aware of these things:
It takes time to recover from surgery.
I don't have any known complications, so I should be thankful that everything went smoothly.

I just want the swelling to go down and the headaches to stop and have everything back the way it was. Except for the guts spilling out part.

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