Tuesday, March 18, 2003

These anti-war protests are ridiculous. First we had major coverage of the student walkouts. That's right, these kids felt so strongly opposed to the war that they were willing to SKIP CLASS! Back in the radical 80s, we used to protest sunny days by skipping class. If these kids want to show their commitment, why don't they send all of their war-themed PlayStation games to the White House? Yeah, that will happen.

Then there was the worldwide "get naked for peace" protest. (That's PEACE, not piece). I don't understand how taking off your clothes dictates foreign policy (Clinton excepted). If the protest was sponsored by Sports Illustrated, then maybe it could be effective. But from what I saw, it looked like it was organized by Overeaters Anonymous. Put your pants back on buddy. Maybe the U.S. will put down its weapons if you put down that donut.

And could you protesters at least come up with some original signs and slogans? "Give Peace a Chance"? Sure, that worked 30 years ago when you were getting high sleeping with your best friend's sister, but how about showing some creativity out there. Go the extra mile.

Screw the First Ammendment. I say that before you join any anti-war protest, you should be required to point to Iraq on an unlabelled globe. If you can't do that, you should be sent home in your Lexus SUV to complain about paying $2.50 a gallon. I think the protest rallies would be cut in half if we required people to actually know what was going on.

I have to admit, I feel sorry for Monkey Boy... er, President Bush. He is simultaneously being accused of being simply a puppet of the Republican party AND forcing his own personal agenda upon the American people. Pick one. He can't be doing both. If you want to oppose the war, that's cool, but instead of going after the easy target of George Bush put forth the extra effort and attack Colin Powell or Condoleezza Rice. They look like pretty smart people to me, and they seem to support the war. But that would be hard work, so just go on with the Bush-Bashing.

Finally, from the "oh my God, I can't believe how stupid these people are" department, MSNBC has added an on-screen countdown clock ticking away the minutes until Sadam's 48 hours are up. Hey MSNBC, this is WAR not New Year's Eve.

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