Wednesday, March 19, 2003

Happy Deadline Day!

It's here. If Saddam Hussein doesn't book his reservations at Club Med by 8:00 EST tonight, we're going to bring the party to him. Now don't confuse THIS deadline with last Friday's deadline. Or the deadline from last week. Or the ones from December, January, and February. Or the deadlines from the '90s. No my friends, this is THE deadline. El deadline mas grande. Uber-deadline. The mother of all deadlines. The deadline to end all deadlines.

As the world braces for war, America is bracing for the Academy Awards. Iraqi civilians are stockpiling food and water as Hollywood celebrities struggle with the idea of not entering the theater on the Red Carpet.

I hear that the opening missile will be fired by Baseball Hall-of-Famer Sparky Anderson.

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