Tuesday, January 28, 2003


It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a... turducken?

About a month ago, a friend of mine (I’ll call her “Diana”) was telling me about a new culinary fad called turducken. It’s a turkey, stuffed inside a duck, stuffed inside a chicken. Or vice versa. I’m not sure who’s inside what, but somehow these three birds wind up swallowing each other. It sounded bizarre enough that it would be fun to try, but I realized that I would never actually order it. As it turns out, I was at a party this weekend that served turducken and I didn’t even know it.

One thing you need to know: if you start talking to me about food – whether you’re a waiter listing the daily specials or a gracious host preparing a meal - I’m not listening to you. My eyes will just glaze over and I go into a bit of a trance, because it doesn’t matter what you’re telling me; I’m not going to eat it. I’m going to be looking for some saltines and a piece of baloney.

Everyone was quite excited about the turducken, but I never made the connection about what it was. It sounded different every time someone mentioned it: “We’re having churducken for dinner!” “The burduchan is ready!” “The turchican is delicious!” I knew it was Chinese new year, I knew the hostess was Chinese, so I just assumed chuchican was some sort of exotic Chinese seafood platter. I made sure I stayed far away from it, and just ate some of the meat they set out on the table.

At one point I was asked “did you try the turducken?” and I said “no, I had the turkey.”

I didn’t realize I ate turducken until I read the story about the party.

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