Thursday, November 21, 2002

Fashion, Passion, and Michael Jackson Bashin’


In all the ads for the “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show”, they show you women wearing your typical bikini-style “teasing” undergarments. But the actual show is far more bizarre. I was thinking what would happen if people actually wore some of those outfits:

I picture a couple sitting by the fireplace, preparing for a romantic evening. The woman leans over to the man and says “darling, I stopped by Victoria’s Secret today... mind if I slip into something more... comfortable?” The man grins as she saunters into the bedroom. The man gets some champagne and returns to the living room. After 15 minutes, he calls out “sweetheart? You coming out?” “In a minute my love!” A half hour goes by. “Uh, honey? The champagne is going flat” “Almost ready!”

After an hour, she steps out of the bedroom wearing a 15 pound head dress, a 7-foot golden feather wingspan and a bronze amazonian breastplate. Lingerie just ain’t what it used to be.


I like Reality TV. It’s one of the few genres where the Bad Guys can actually win, and sometimes do. That’s what makes it exciting. It’s a little trashy, but it’s good escapist fun. However, I draw the line at The Bachelor. I can’t watch, and I don’t watch, but I just can’t seem to escape it. It’s all over the news, the internet, the radio.

Some people at work came up with a great take-off of The Bachelor for a new TV show. I take no credit for it, but it’s brilliant. The show is “Who’s Your Daddy?” It would begin with a woman living with a group of men, and they all sleep with her until she gets pregnant. They all stay together during the pregnancy, and do blood samples and DNA tests each week so they can eliminate a potential father. In the season finale, the baby is born and they announce who the father is. Who’s Your Daddy? Coming to FOX.

Michael Jackson Bashin’

People should not hold babies over railings. Period. No questions asked. But I wish the media would at least tell the right story about Jacko. The first report I heard was that Michael Jackson dangled his son by one leg from a fourth story balcony. Later stories reported that the infant was flailing in his arms as Michael struggled to keep control of the baby. That isn’t what really happened. Michael always had a secure grip on his son. Look, don’t get me wrong. Wacko Jacko was absolutely irresponsible, and could POSSIBLY be guilty of child endangerment. But let’s let the FACTS of the situation tell the story. There’s plenty of TRUTH to condemn him with, without the exaggerations.

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