Tuesday, September 03, 2002

Bad, Bad, Aaron Brown

I can't take it any more; I hate Aaron Brown.

Let's start with the hair: either it's a really cheap toupee, or he hasn't used shampoo since Reaganomics. He may be sitting there on CNN trying to tell me the latest casulty reports from Afghanistan, but all I can do is stare at the top of his head and think "what IS that thing?!" I become transfixed by it. Is it alive? Is it dead? Are there any biological materials in there whatsover?

And then there's the voice. That whining, nasaly, snivelling noise that sounds like Elliot Gould with a head cold. Forget fingernails on a chalkboard. Imagine scratching your TEETH on a chalkboard. That's Aaron Brown.

You may wonder who am I to judge someone else's God-given traits. Well, I believe everything happens for a reason, and I think God gave Aaron Brown bad hair and an annoying voice as His way of saying "Dude, stay away from broadcast journalism". But Aaron Brown didn't listen. He could have become a serious journalist and work for a newspaper or even a magazine. But he chose CNN, which IS entertainment television. So don't be mad at me when Aaron Brown is the one who is going against God's will.

Lest you think I am completely shallow, his on-air persona is equally annoying. He covers many of the September 11th news, and for some reason feels that the story isn't interesting enough on its own. Rather than speaking from the heart or even the head, he speaks from the ego: he always seems to be trying to come up with the perfect sound bite which will be immortalized on a bronze plaque in Washington D.C. Shut up already.

And this flows in to a bigger problem with CNN. They are running news reports about how the news will be covering September 11th. They are interviewing their own anchors (mostly Aaron Brown) to get their feelings about 9/11. Isn't there a freshman class in journalism school where they teach you that reporters aren't supposed to become the story?

They say that as we continue see the images of the planes crashing into the towers over and over again, we become desensitized to them. That may be true. But no matter how many times I see Aaron Brown on my TV screen, I find him just as disturbing as I did a year ago.

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